Title: A Secret Journey  (Rikku's Story)


Summary: The story of the pilgrimage told in Rikku's words, and what she learns on the way. 
Classification: FFX fic, AU, Rikku/Auron relationship, story, romance
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Squaresoft, but the story
is mine. (actually Rikku's, but you know what I mean. : )

Author's note: Rikku is an Al Bhed and sometimes her narrative slips into her native tongue. For this reason I am also including an Al Bhed primer at the end of each part, with
translations of the terms used.

What can you do when you are only halfway through a story and the characters
want to resolve their differences, comforting each other through the night?
<sigh> Knowing how the story ends it would be cruel to keep them apart,
don't you think? This section rated R, for sexual content.

Feedback is welcomed at tuatha@caloundra.net


A Secret Journey (Rikku's Story)

Part Twelve






When I woke again it was still dark, the middle of the night. I realised
Auron was still fully clothed so I began to unfasten his armour beneath his
cloak. He woke and stilled my hands.

"I want to feel your skin against mine." I told him. His hands brushed over
my face, touching my shoulders, whispers of feeling down my arms to where my
hands rested against him. He sat to remove his coat and helped me remove the
rest of his apparel. Then he searched for the fastener at the back of my
top, and peeled it downwards. My top fell away, then he loosened the tie at
the back of my bra. I pulled it up over my head, dropping it to the floor
beside the bed. His hands searched below my waist, finding my shorts and
tugging gently at the belt. When they were freed he released them to let
them fall gently around my knees. Then he peeled my g-string down as well,
and I kicked them free. We were both naked, half seeing each other in the
darkness, all our other senses in overdrive.

He lay back on the bed, waiting. I leaned in to kiss his mouth, tasting
love. His hands moved to my waist, gently drawing me towards him, and I lay
over him feeling him completely for the first time. His hands moved up and
down my back while he kissed me, his tongue darting into my mouth and
twining with mine. I let my hands wander over his face and hair, then
caressed his shoulders and sides, pressing myself on him harder, wanting to
be closer than we already were.

I didn't know what I was doing. I had never loved a man before. I only knew
I wanted to give Auron everything I was, everything he would take of me, and
I wanted all of him in return. I had only a vague idea of what that
entailed. All I knew was that when a man and woman made love to each other
children were the result. In some vague way I believed that all we had to do
was agree and it would be accomplished. I wanted to have his children. I
told him so.

"E fyhd du keja oui y cuh."

"Rikku..."

"E muja oui, Auron. Mad sa cruf oui ruf silr."

"Rikku. Even if a child were possible, what if I could not be there to see
the child be born, to grow?"

"Don't you want a son or a daughter to grow from our love?"

"Yes." I realise now he didn't think it was possible, but let me believe it,
if only for a little while. I kissed him again, and he moved us onto our
sides, his hand touching my breasts, squeezing first one, then the other. My
own hands were free to roam, and I touched him with fervour, mapping out his
contours, his chest and back and sides, moving to where he was so different
to me. When I stroked the hard length beneath my hand he moaned and pressed
against me, and I wrapped my hand around him as he edged his body over mine.
Where he pressed between my legs I felt euphoria rising through me, pleasure
that made me move against him again and again and I relished his weight over
me, his kiss, everywhere he touched me became alight with desire.

"...muja oiu." I whispered.

"I love you," he answered. "Muja, Rikku."

He pressed into me sharply and I felt a shock as though he had pierced me
with a sword, opening me and I felt him within. I cried out and he stilled,
breathing hard. "Rikku?"

"E muja oui!" My arms were wrapped around him hard, and I held him unmoving
as I felt the pain recede, leaving only the warmth of his intrusion, a
pleasure that throbbed and beat within. I shifted and he moaned against me
and thrust deeply into my flesh. Again I cried out and again he stilled, but
I urged him on. "Tuh'd cdub. Muja sa."

His body receded from mine reluctantly, and I moved to reunite with him as
he moved deeply inside again, and I felt a tide rising inside me, each time
he moved he filled me with sensation that drove the breath from my body and
sent sparks shooting through me. My nerves sang with the love I felt for
him.

We were both damp from exertion, our bodies sliding against each other, and
my mouth moved over his face and shoulder, kissing and nipping at his skin.
Each time his mouth met mine we drank of each other deeply, sharing our
spirits as we shared our bodies. I was rising uncontrollably, wailing as my
body shuddered with paroxysms of pleasure. Auron cried as his body shook
within mine.

I held him as we recovered, then he turned on his side, keeping me close
while his arms wrapped around me.

"Rikku." I raised my face to his, but he was just saying my name, an
affirmation of the love we shared. He bathed my face with his lips, his warm
breath, kissing me gently. I began to feel the pain between my legs,
forgotten while we made love. I moved away, leaning up on my elbow and
looked down. I pressed a hand to myself, lightly, and couldn't help hissing
as it stung. When I raised my hand my fingers were dark with blood.

"Ohhhhh." I collapsed onto the bed beside him. "E vaam vihho."

"What's wrong?"

"I think I'm bleeding."

He sat up and stared. When he reached out to touch me I grabbed his wrist.
He tugged at the sheet then turned to me speaking urgently. "Hold on."

I curled up on my side as he left the bed, and was only vaguely aware of him
dressing hurriedly, and the influx of light as he opened the door, receding
as it closed again. When he returned Lulu was with him. She came over to the
bed and looked down at me, then she turned and stared pointedly at Auron.

"I'll be outside." He said and left the room. Lulu sat beside me and stroked
my arm. "Rikku."

"mmmmm."

"Can you sit up?"

"'d rather not." I mumbled.

"Alright. Let me see." She removed the sheet gently, and after a few moments
draped it over me again, rubbing my upper arm. "The blood loss isn't too
bad. You should go wash up." She drew a potion from the small bag she
carried. "Use this." I dragged myself off the bed and walked carefully into
the little bathroom and did as she instructed. The cold water made me feel
better, the potion even more so. When I returned Lulu had taken the bloodied
sheets from the bed and was smoothing a new cover over the mattress.

She waited till I sat, gingerly on the bed and sat beside me giving me
another sheet so I could cover my nakedness. She put her arm around me.

"I was surprised, I thought you and Sir Auron had already...been intimate."

"You knew?" I thought we had hidden our feelings. Well, that Auron had. Then
another question occured to me. "How did you know we had...just now?"

"The first time is always like that. There is a shield inside a woman that
must be broken the first time she loves a man."

"Oh." I exclaimed. I hadn't known. I still felt weird, inside and out, but
was no longer afraid of the feeling. "This is normal then?"

"Yes, very."

"Oh good...I thought there was something wrong with me." I realised that
Auron was waiting outside, and he thought there was something wrong with me
too. "Sir Auron! What will I say to him?

"Ohhhh." I moaned. I was feeling very embarrassed at the thought of
explaining my ignorance.

"Sir Auron was very worried about you, but would say nothing except that you
were hurt and I must come to you right now." She paused for a moment as if
searching for the right words. "The first time can be difficult if your
lover is insensitive, or easier if he is gentle. Which was it for you?"

"Oh, Lulu, he was more than gentle. I love him so much."

"I'm glad for you, truly. For you both." She hugged me quickly and patted my
arm. "Now, do you feel okay, or should I send him away?"

"No! No, I'm fine." I was already missing him and he had only been gone for
a few minutes.

Lulu kissed me on the cheek. "Alright, I will tell him that he needn't worry
and send him to you. But you shouldn't do this again right away. You need to
give yourself time to heal."

I heard their voices, speaking softly in the corridor, then the door closed
leaving the room dark again. He came over to the bed. "Lulu says you're
alright."

"Yes." I reached out and his hand found mine, while he sat beside me.  "Lie
down with me again." I asked, and when he hesitated I tugged at his hand
until his resistance ceased. When he disrobed I realised he had only pulled
his coat over his torso, leaving his armour where it lay on the floor, in
his haste to get help for me.

When he was lying beside me I asked him "What did Lulu tell you?"

"Only that I was old enough to know better. And that you would be fine.
Rikku, I hurt you again and didn't even realise it. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not...it wasn't like that. Really." I reassured him. "I didn't want it
to end. It wasn't until after that I felt anything wrong."

His relief was obvious, and I felt touched by his concern. "Lulu said it was
something that happens the first time, there's nothing wrong with me. I just
wish I'd known, I feel so stupid."

"Stupid? No, we were both unknowing. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you as
badly as I had feared." He kissed me tenderly, holding me tightly until we
fell asleep again.



End of Part Twelve


Al Bhed primer and translation guide:

E fyhd du keja oui y cuh. = I want to give you a son.
Mad sa cruf oui ruf silr. = Let me show you how much
Tuh'd cdub = Don't stop
Muja sa = Love me
E vaam vihho = I feel funny

A = E
B = P
C = S
D = T
E = I
F = W
G = K
H = N
I = U
J = V
K = G
L = C
M = L
N = R
O = Y
P = B
Q = Z
R = H
S = M
T = D
U = O
V = F
W = X
X = Q
Y = A
Z = J



tua
tuatha@caloundra.net

visit tuatha's virtual x-files art gallery:
http://members.tripod.com/tuatha.danaan/index.htm

"Who knows what evil lies in the heart of sock-puppets" - Gordy Reinhardt
Angela Anaconda